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Thursday, October 15, 2009

Alkali and Cholesterol




Cholesterol and Alkali


The Desert Southwest is cursed with hard water. That means alkali clogs pipes and drains with a chalky white substance that thickens to a crust on faucets, sinks, bath tubs and anywhere else that water runs and puddles. As a desert dweller, there isn't much you can do but scrub the outside with Comet and purge the inside with Drano. Or, purchase a permanent water softening unit, which is no small expense.

Cholesterol is a lot like Alkali. It accumulates in our veins and clogs our arteries. Unfortunately, there's no such permanent cure for Cholesterol as the electric water softener that fights alkali in water pipes. Lowering the levels of cholesterol in our veins requires a "drano" type statin drug to do the cleansing while we sleep. The alternative is a change of lifestyle, a regimen of exercise and a few starvation tactics to wean ourselves off fatty foods.

Actually, I think cholesterol is just "payback" for all the years of dinner rolls, yeast donuts, and cream pies. Too bad no one warned us back in the 60's. Now it's much like "paying for your raising when you raise your own children." I mean...if the human body wasn't meant to process all that "good stuff" why did the industy make it in the first place!


Just to test me, I think. I mean, offer up all the intoxicating delights I can eat while I'm young, then plump my veins with cholesterol when I hit sixty. Come on, that' not fair. It kinda reminds me of the photo of the old, haggard, tooth-less cowboy that made its rounds a decade ago. The caption read "If I had known I would live so long, I would've taken better care of myself." Me too.


My doctor recommends the "drano," statin drugs that clean the veins while you sleep. I'm leaning toward the "Change your lifestyle, Diet and Exercise" theory.

Excercise - I mean...we have a Wii. I like Dance Revolution. Dancing is a close cousin to running and jogging. Certainly with all my children grown and gone, I have enough free-time to dance an hour every day. Well, maybe I'll start with 15 minutes and work my way up to an hour. I'll figure it out. Excercise, I can do.

Lifestyle changes - Stop smoking....done that. Stop sedentary sitting.....hey, I'm gonna dance 15 minutes every day. What more do they want? I mean, when my kids were young they ran my legs off, I only dreamed of spare time to sit down and rest. So now, it only makes sense that I might enjoy a solitary, sedantary half hour...or two, every day.

Diet - Now that's something entirely different. Nothing is easy about this No-Cholesterol Diet! I understand that my diet is what got me here in the first place, but if you ever read that pamphlet that comes with your cholesterol statistics, you'll see what I mean. This is crazy! You'd have to eat fresh vegetables straight from the garden, fresh fruit plucked from the vine, and only breads and crackers marked 100% whole grain to keep your veins free of cholesterol. No more Chocolate cake, Buttered dinner rolls, Greasy Burgers, Deep fried french fries (or Twinkies, I might add).

You know, on second thought. I might try the Drano First.


~Sandy

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